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ThanksgivingThanksgiving is here once again… who fucking cares.Thanksgiving
Honestly why do we bother to celebrate such a pointless holiday? I’m all for giving thanks, but that’s not what this retarded day is about anymore. It’s basically a dress rehearsal for Christmas.
A bunch of family members you don’t particularly care to see get together in ugly sweaters and stretch pants and gorge themselves with food, then plop their fat asses down on the couch to watch a football game or a parade or some dumb shit and talk about how their lives have been since they were forced to see each other last.
So if it’s
by ~the-asshole
The Incredible Shitting ManThere’s a guy at my work who seems like he can’t stop shitting. Every time I’ve ever been in the bathroom he’s in there shitting. You would swear this guy is getting paid to be there. Every time I walk in the bathroom it smells horrible, and this guy cant stop shitting and farting and grunting. How about a courtesy flush every now and then?The Incredible Shitting Man
Being a guy, I am not that off-put by farting. Hell I know the pleasure of watching your stink hit another person. Why do guys find it so amusing? Maybe it’s because the air in your nose, mouth, and lungs, was just in my ass. Tell me that you wouldn’t laugh if you
by ~the-asshole
Office Work with the AssholeI’m twenty three years old, and I work in an office. My high school friends have never set foot in an office building, and most have given up and resigned to the concept that they never will. When they find out I do, they act as if it’s some great accomplishment. It’s just work. That’s all this place is. Let me break down for you what working in an office is like.Office Work with the Asshole
If there is a chance for me to be fucked over in an office, it will happen. It’s not a matter of opinion; it’s not a matter of pessimism; it’s a fact. There is no honor in an office, and NOBODY is your friend. It doesn't ma
by ~the-asshole
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Devious Info
- Current Residence: Inconsequential
- Interests: Collecting people to hate, writing, design, general asshole things
- Favourite band or musician: Just about everything
- Favourite genre of music: Everything but rap, but then again it's not really music now is it?
- MP3 player of choice: Samsung Q1
- Wallpaper of choice: Any decent porn
- Favourite game: Genocide
- Favourite cartoon character: Fuck off Frank
- Personal Quote: When I call you a piece of shit, I feel it's really more insulting to the shit.
- Website: http://the-asshole.deviantart.com
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Dylan: 'neath the heather is where my turra lurra lies
Me:
I'm the proud retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel
Gothzgirl = sister and
Knuckerdragon =
oohhh, toucheeeey
--
Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town.
-Bruce Cambell aka Ash, Army of Darkness
1. knife and fork on the left, spoon and spare spoon on the right
2. sugar is the best way to whiten teeth
3. boomarang and orangutang are the two coolest rhyming words EVER
4. math isn't going to get you anywhere
2+3. ignore number 4
6. team work backward allmost spell crow meat
7. don't be fashionably late for a bus
9. 8 is allways late
10. backpack is not a verb, don't you try to throw an "ING" on the end
8. sorry I'm late, what did I miss?
11. damn it, 8! you allways do this!!
12. backscratchers are ALLWAYS in used condition
just keep these 12 key rules in mind and you'll go far!!
(13. how come I wasn't invited?)
(14. you know they never go into the teens!)
--
don't spend the rest of your life wondering [link]
wave the flags that the robots made [link]
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